My Grandma – Japanese Teacher: Liao Chen Yu-Chih
By Lacey Won

First I would like to thank all the Aunties and Uncles from Taiwanese Center who have supported my mom Debbie and me through this challenging time for our family. Your kindness and thoughtfulness are a great comfort to us and shall never be forgotten.

My Grandma was kind, elegant, and easy going yet strong and brave. She was an inspiration to me and my mom. She had dignity and charm. But of all her traits, her strength was the biggest and most valuable.

When she was 18, she married my Grandpa. She was born into a rich, well-known family and never had to do any housework. When she was married, she had servants to accompany with her. However, her mother-in-law was very strict and felt that she should learn how to do everything herself even if she had servants. After the marriage my Grandparents live with my Grandpa’s large extended family. She had to do everything from scratch such as killing chickens for dinner and burning wood for cooking big pot of rice. She learned how to do everything that the servants had to do. She had to serve her mother- and father-in-law as well as her husband. She even had to deal with eight sister-in-laws and her younger brother-in-law. She had handled all of these without complaint.

Twenty-two years ago after my Grandpa’s death, at the age of 66 Grandma immigrated to the U.S.; a new country with new customs and a new language to her. She never complained and adjusted well into our house. Two years later I was born. I must be in a big hurry to come to this world so I arrived 6 weeks too early and forgot to put on sufficient body weight. I weighed just 4 lbs 3 oz. Mom was absolutely frightened to even touch me, she was afraid that she might do something wrong causing my bones to break. But not my Grandma, she took charge of everything. She fed me, bathed me and rocked me to sleep. My mom thought her job as a mother could not have been easier. That was my Grandma’s strength.

When I was one year old, my mom started her own business selling Bonsai trees in a mall in San Diego. Once again Grandma was there for me. She got me fed and ready for school and also helped mom with her business. I had two mothers and you already know who the strong one was, my Grandma.

Some years later my parents were divorced and our home became the home of three generations of Taiwanese women. It wasn’t easy but my Grandma’s strength kept us focused and determined that we would make it through our difficult times. The three of us traveled on ships, planes and by car to many places. We cruised to Alaska, traveled to Japan, Canada, and other places. Of course during every trip my mom would be worn out with jet lag, seasickness and sometimes the flu but not my Grandma who was untouched by any illness or fatigue. She was so strong!

A few years ago, Grandma was 85 at the time; we went to Toronto to visit my Uncle Roger for the wedding of his daughter. I brought a friend, Kayla, with me. One day we wanted to go shopping and sightseeing Toronto downtown. There was the Andy Warhol exhibit which we wanted to see. Well, grandma wanted to go too. We did everything we could to persuade her not to go. Of course we were thinking that she could not keep up with us. Off we went to downtown. Well, what a surprise we got. We walked all day, all over and right behind us was Grandma. We were surprised but Grandma wasn’t.

On June 13th, Grandma was hospitalized. Our old dog Hungi (sweet potato in Taiwanese) got sick the same day with the same symptom. Mom must worry that the two incidences would drive me crazy and rush back home right away, so she didn’t tell me until the next day when I came home from the college for summer vacation. Grandma underwent an operation that allowed her to be with us some extra time. Never once did she complain of pain and yet she must have had some discomfort. Mom and I with the help of friends, my two uncles and five cousins, worked hard to make her last days here meaningful. Every time visitors appeared she would dig up her strength and make them feel welcome.

When my Grandma passed away, she did not leave without leaving us something. My Grandma was a Buddhist, so my mom and I had to follow traditions. After she took the last breaths of this world we would have to wait eight hours before anybody was allowed to move or touch her. Buddhist traditions are that one should not cry at the passing from this world. Grandma passed away at 9 pm on August 28th. We had to obey the rule. After more than eight hour period of reverence it was time. I asked my mom if I could touch Grandma and mom said yes. I leaned over the bed and gently kissed Grandma on her forehead and hugged her one last time.

Grandma had left us but she had left us something special, her strength!!

The story doesn’t end here. Less than three days later, Hungi decided he was going with Grandma to keep her company. Hungi was with us for a long time. He was 17 years old. He passed away quietly like Grandma. I think I can almost see them together taking a walk somewhere in heaven.